How can I tell they're taking drugs?

If only I’d done something sooner!

"....You don’t want to think your child is doing that sort of thing.
You just don’t dream it could happen…
It was aerosols first. I thought I was going mad.
How do you lose an aerosol?
You blame yourself first, don’t you?
Then you realise, when it happens too often.
When my cigarettes started going walkabout, I still did nothing.
I wish I’d got some help then. But he was only 14, he didn’t look like a druggie.
Suddenly he’s dabbling in heroin and money’s disappearing from my purse.
That was really hard. He soon had a criminal record - stealing to feed his habit.
I couldn't ignore it any longer. I blamed myself.
And I had to get anti-depressants off the doctor.
I suppose we were both on drugs by then.
If only I’d done something sooner!"

Recognising drug use is difficult

Is your child moody, secretive, always challenging your decisions?
Hmm, sounds like a normal adolescent, and it might be nothing to do with drugs.
You have to hold two seemingly opposing views in your head at the same time: the most valuable weapon you can have against drugs is a good relationship with your child.
But assuming they're taking drugs is not a good way of developing that relationship.

On the other hand, you do need to be vigilant because the few children who do go down the slippery slope into hard drugs may become devious, making it difficult for you to help them.
You risk alienating your child if you jump to the wrong conclusions, and they feel you have no trust in them.
It’s too easy to get your mind hooked on an idea.
Once you start looking for signs you are already in danger of alienating your child in your own mind.

Remember, innocent until proven guilty.

Our fears can exaggerate the dangers, causing us to overreact.
Even if you don’t actually say anything, the way you’re thinking will be obvious from how you phrase your questions.
They can tell because they know you.

If your child sees you as someone who has faith in them, they are more likely to share details of their personal and social lives. You’ll have a clearer picture of all their activities, and they’ll be more likely to see your viewpoint, and appreciate your interest in their well-being.

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The Signs
Some young people do take drugs, and you need to be aware of the possible signs.


Perhaps, perhaps not. But don’t treat it as though he’s on heroin. It’s nowhere near as bad.
See cannabis in drugs section to find out more.

What sorts of things should I be aware of?
Spoons discoloured from heating, tin foil, pill boxes, tiny bits of clear food wrap, sugar lumps, syringes or needles, cigarette papers, lighters, cigarette ends made of card, butane gas canisters, shredded cigarettes, pipes, small stickers or transfers, small bottles.All of these could be signs of serious drug taking.

If money is going missing; if your child is selling CDs and computer games, and you don’t know where the money is going, you should ask.

If you’re distressed about their late nights, physical appearance, personal hygiene, lack of appetite, raise the issue in a concerned, but not judgmental way. Individually they may mean little, but together they may suggest a developing pattern.

So what do I do if I find these things?
Raise the issue. Make it clear that it's happening, without laying blame.
Encourage them to talk (see Getting on their wavelength).
Refer to What are these drugs? The detail for more specific information on the effects of different drugs. You can also find information on drugs paraphernalia there.

Feeling : Before your feelings get exaggerated, discuss them with your partner or trusted friend. Don’t ignore your feelings and don’t be afraid to share them with your child. But don’t use your feelings to blackmail your child. Give them the chance to reassure you that they know what they’re doing.

Listening : this is where YOU listen. You won’t encourage your children to talk freely if they’re not able to finish a sentence. Manage your negative feelings about their friends, their clothes, or their lack of interest in homework. Adolescents easily interpret questioning for interrogation, but they will open up if they think you’re really listening with interest.

Responding : encourage your children to talk about their own feelings.
Find quality time to talk and listen. Don’t give up on family activities in their teens, even when they go through a phase of rejecting them. Be proud of them as individuals and let them know it.

See Getting on their wavelength.

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What to do next:

Learn more about the risks – Understanding the risks
Find out how to improve communications with your children – Getting on their wavelength
Find out more about the drugs themselves – What are these drugs? Basic info
Read more about the effects of drugs – What are these drugs? The detail
Read more about what the law says – Drugs and the Law
Find out how you can get help – who else can help?